Only one man can save the planet from the greatest threat it has ever faced.

The threat? Not bird 'flu. Not Aids. Not George W Bush. Not even the voice of Mariah Carey. No, it's the ubiquitous Smiley.

Everywhere you look, Smilies are breeding like rabbits, helped by wee-meaning but ultimately stupid people who find it impossible to construct a phrase without using a Smiley.

The saviour of the planet? He's smart, literate and plays a cool version of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".

Put your hands together for Smiliminator !!!